Metropol: You Are So Nasty, Love Frank
In this week's Diner's Journal, Frank clears his throat, bangs a silver tuning fork against his servant's temple, hums a warbling A, and sings (to the tune of "Mary Had a Little Lamb"):
"Metropol is totally rank,
Their food is borderline dangerous,
And their service is retaaaaarrrrrrded."
And yet. BAFFLINGLY. He kind of finds it attractive.
I'm not even going to excerpt from this review. You can almost exactly recreate the sensation of reading it by punching an unassuming teenager in the face and then giving him a funsize Butterfinger.