Bette: Thinking Outside Frank's Box
Dude! Frank totally dropped a bomb today in the Diner's Journal (which he OBVIOUSLY wrote in an actual DIARY at Beppe, smirking at his neighboring tables and licking his quill nib.)
Frank has woken me up to my narrow-mindedness: no more of my sniffing the trail of his journalistic excrescence like a braindead bloodhound, and then yowling about it pointlessly into the virtual night, JUST BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I SET OUT TO DO! Like a mindless sheep, following my stated mission! If the Diner's Journal is now Page 6 then from now on, I shall be using the Bruni Digest to post pictures of absurdly cute baby animals.
Oh damn. You are the cutest.
Oh my god! Stop the press! Baby mastiff!! I’m freaking out!
Holy shit, look how big your paws are! You are so cute, I’m like dumping in my pants!
what animal even are you? Who cares! Your mommy loves you so much, I’m having a heart attack! SO CUTE.
Oh Jesus Christ are you a handful of adorable! Call the cops! This little lovenut is nuzzling too hard, it’s got to be illegal! Stop nuzzling you cute little SHIT! I LOVE YOU!
I’m literally going to kill myself. You are so GRAY and DUSTY! You are so TIRED FROM LIFE! WHY ARE YOU SO TIRED ALREADY? IS IT CAUSE YOU ARE SO CUTE IT’S EXHAUSTING???? I AM GOING TO STAB MY EYES OUT IF I LOOK AT YOU ANYMORE, YOU LITTLE RETARD! I LIVE FOR YOU!!!!
OK, I'm not emotionally capable of continuing this. We're going back to the old Bruni Digest. Phew. Someone bring me a picture of Rutger Hauer, I need to calm down.
But you know, people may criticize the Bruninator for not discussing food. But it's like, WHY SHOULD HE??? Let's all take our bras off, smoke some ree-ree, and break the journalistic constraints that are imposed on us! Krugman, dawg, let's hear your style report! Hey, Liz Smith, what's the word on Baghdad?? C'mon people, I'm doing it, Frank's doing it, hop on board the freedom train.
And yes, Alto to follow. Sorry. I'm in Finland. I've been pickled in 8% beer.