The Bruni Digest

In which I sit on a dirt mound somewhere in Brooklyn with my ears pricked, waiting for New York Times head restaurant critic Frank Bruni, who I imagine to be a Venetian count in a huge ruffled collar, to dole out stars from the inside breast pocket of his brocaded chamber robe. This blog is predicated on the suggestion that every Wednesday, in the Times Dining Out section, Frank lays a huge faberge egg of hilarity.

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I am fiscally irresponsible, which means I have weak bones and a dorsal fin. And a penchant for dining out, even though I am, in the words of many rich people, a "poor people". I make a different face when speaking each of the foreign languages in which I am shittily proficient.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Prose? What's prose?

First. Things. First. I, along with other people with mixed up priorities and too much time on their hands, am FURIOUS that the Count responded with multiple Diner’s Journal entries addressing last week’s Life in the Fast Lane piece, but NOTHING, not a WORD, about the fact that he wrote last week’s (barely) starred review of Sascha in an A.R.Guerney style exchange of emails between himself and a mystery partner, SoOverSalsify@gmail.com.

Mouths were agape, the food world tittering with conjectures as to the identity of this too-cool-for-root interlocutor. Some even posited that it might be Tits Truly, which, sadly, it is not (I’m not over salsify).

But as a consolation prize for those frustrated with the total opacity of SoOverSalsify, at least we now know this from Frank's Journal:

“[Frank’s companion Kerry] was reading aloud the 'Us' magazine account of the Denise Richards-Heather Locklear feud. We had decided to use the long stretches of road between drive-through windows to catch up on our celebrity gossip."
I wonder if Kerry also French braided Frank’s hair so it would be awesomely crimped by the time they hit Tucson?




This week's review of Café D’Alsace to follow...

1 Comments:

Blogger culocho said...

Was anyone else bother by how buttery all the meat at Sascha appears to be?

"lamb for two, which was enough for three or four, with flesh that was almost buttery."

and

"a grilled New York strip, which came with a parsley and shallot butter on top and a heap of crunchy, golden fries on the side; a robust roasted rib-eye; chateaubriand for two, which was enough for three or four, with flesh that was almost buttery."

Mmmm, buttery meat.

9:30 PM, June 02, 2006  

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